Peas In A Pod
by LoopyLoo13
Summary: Kakashi is fed up with his student's constant fighting so he comes up with a plan that can get them to reveal secrets and feelings so that they would get to know each other better. Rated T for content and some coarse language.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own Naruto but I know who does!! **

**My third fanfic so please don't be too harsh, and no flames but I do accept constructive criticism.**

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Kakashi was annoyed. Actually, he was more than annoyed, he was furious! Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto where fighting yet again.

"That's mine, Dobe!" Sasuke said to the blonde Genin.

"No it's not, it's mine!! I was the only one who brought that delicious stuff here," Naruto said indignantly, frowning at the Uchiha. (_If you are familiar with Naruto then you can probably guess what I'm talking about. For the freakishly slow or newbies here, I am talking about RAMEN!)_

"Oh, shut up the both of you!! There's enough to share between all of us. So just serve it up already!" Sakura said. She was hungry. She wanted that damn ramen RIGHT NOW!

"But Sa-ku-raaaaa," Whined Naruto, "I really don't want to share with Sasuke-teme over there… I'll share with you though," He added, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Refraining from punching him, Sakura sighed and replied, "That's good enough for me," She brought out a china bowl and some chopsticks from her backpack.

"Hey, Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke. I need some help here… to ummm…. put up this tent. Yeah that's it…" Kakashi was beckoning from the tree he was in.

"Ok Kakashi-sensei," Came the muttered reply from a hungry Naruto and Sakura.

"Hn…" This was obviously the reply from that emo-motional Sasuke.

Sakura, followed by the two boys, ran after her sensei so that they could help him pitch this mysterious 'tent'.

Suddenly, she was tripped up and, quickly followed by the other two, stuffed into a large sack.

"What the HELL?!?" yelled a disorientated Sasuke.

"I can't see!!" Shouted Sakura.

"I WANT MY RAMEN BACK!!!!" Wailed Naruto.

"Oh shut up, I am completely fed up with all of your constant fighting and yelling, so now you are all going to find out what it's like to actually get along with some one for once in your short lives!!!" Came a raised voice from out side the bag. It was Kakashi. He was mad…. Uh oh.

( - - - )

When Team Seven finally awoke they found that Sasuke was tied to a chair and Naruto and Sakura each had an array of kunaii's, shuriken's and … what was that… a base ball bat?…infront of them.

"Hnuh?" Sasuke mumbled, tossing his head around and struggling in his tight bonds.

"Stop struggling Sasuke or your bonds just become tighter! I know they're uncomfortable but this is what you get for being the most angsty damn ninja I have ever met! And as your tutor I will be letting each of your team mates have two hours each day with you with what ever 'accessories' they can find…And, umm, Naruto is going first so prepare yourself," Saying this last bit, Kakashi rose from the chair he was sitting in and walked out of the cold room's door.

"Crap." Sasuke seethed, wriggling slightly in the chair. Despite his wrists being tied to the back of the chair, he wiggled them feebly and reached for a kunai, shuriken, or anything else that would cut the ropes that restricted his movement. Naruto looked at Sasuke, and snickered slightly.

"Teme, you look as if you've got an itch." Naruto smirked, receiving a glare from the young avenger.

"Dobe, don't make me cut out of these bonds and show you what being a ninja is all about."

"I'd like to see you do that, Teme… 'ttebayo." Naruto grinned at the young man. Sasuke glared full force at Naruto, and squirmed at bit more, but was unable to break free.

Sakura murmured, "Sasuke-kun, don't try… Kakashi-sensei said that the bonds would become tighter. There's no point."

"If you think that I am just going to sit back and let YOU and the DOBE torture me, then you're thinking wrong!!" Sasuke was now talking directly at Sakura.

"Oi, don't talk to Sakura-chan like that, Teme!! She has more of a reason to beat the crap out of you than I do!" Naruto said firmly to the Uchiha.

"I don't think you actually have any reason for beating 'the crap' out of me… if you can give me a reason then why not, but…." Sasuke trailed of when he saw the murderous glint in the blonde Nin's eye.

"Sasuke, I will tell you our plan if you promise not to interrupt and or make any noise whatsoever!" Sakura said, breaking up their small argument before Naruto actually hurt Sasuke.

" ……… I guess I can accept those terms…" Sasuke replied after a long pause.

"Good, well what we were going to do is torture you to our heart's content, but then we thought that this may stop us from doing any future missions, oh, and Naruto said it may stop you from having any kids so…. Yeah. We then decided that we would torture you slowly so that we don't hurt you badly at first but then if you don't tell us of your feelings and deepest secrets then the torture will get worse, and so on and, so forth." Sakura explained this as if she had rehearsed behind his back.

Sasuke really didn't agree to this but he realized that he probably didn't have a choice in the matter, so he just slowly nodded his head and admitted himself to this horrible torture, watching Naruto and Sakura walk out of the door…

( - - - )

Kakashi, who was standing outside the room's door, was secretly cheering Sakura on for what she had said and was quite shocked when Naruto pushed the door open and almost flattened Kakashi against the wall of the hallway. Luckily when Naruto heard Kakashi's muffled cry of pain, he swung back the door so that Sakura could take care of him.

"Hey, how come you guys are out here, I thought you'd be kicking Sasuke's ass by now… has he already given in?" Kakashi asked, confused.

"Well we decided that we would go out and buy some …'accessories'," Naruto said with a slightly crazed look in his eyes.

Kakashi didn't know if it was the murderous glint in his student's eyes or the way Sakura rubbed her hands together with glee when Naruto said "accessories", but he thought that he would have to keep an eye on them from now on…

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**So, what do you think? Should I carry on with it? ****Please R & R to tell me what you think!!**

**- LoopyLoo13 xxx**


	2. Part 2

**Okay, as promised I have updated and I hope that you will enjoy this chapter!!! By the way, thank you all very much for my marvelous reviews!! xoxo**

**Recap:**

_Kakashi didn't know if it was the murderous glint in his student's eyes or the way Sakura rubbed her hands together with glee when Naruto said "accessories", but he thought that he would have to keep an eye on them from now on…_

Naruto and Sakura came back three hours later with an array of weapons and various types of truth potions from the local grocery store…_(Wow! That grocery store must be on DRUGS or something because Kakashi definitely wouldn't expect to find potions in a regular grocery store!)_

Sakura and Naruto took the seven heavy bags in with them and started to unpack everything on to the table in the captive room.

"What are those vials for, Dobe?" Came a quiet but indignant voice from the back of the room.

"They're truth serums, Sasuke. We will be using them quite frequently, I believe… Whenever we get an answer that we believe not to be true." Sakura smirked, chuckling slightly. This alone, could have been enough to make the Uchiha crap his pants in terror, but he brushed it off.

"_Maybe they won't even use it…" _Sasuke thought to himself, calm and collected on the outside, but in his mind, Inner Sasuke was running frantically around in circles, shrieking.

Inner Sasuke stopped running, clutched his manhood, and wailed, "What if the Dobe tries to chop off my balls? THAT'S WHAT SAKURA MEANT HOW I WON'T BE ABLE TO HAVE KIDS!!!" Inner Sasuke shrieked loudly in fear and began to run around in circles again.

"Sasuke-teme, why don't we start off with the questioning now? … I BAGSIES GOING FIRST!!!!" Yelled Naruto after a slight pause.

"Do I even have a choice in the matter?" Sasuke muttered to himself. Sakura shook her head at the remark and tried in vain to calm her hyper friend down.

" Okay Sasuke, Ino is running around naked in a field and Shikamaru is yelling at her and trying to make her put on some clothes… What do you do? A: Help Shikamaru put clothes on Ino, B: Throw kunais at them both and hope that death will make them shut up, or my personal favorite, C: go over to Shikamaru and knock him out so that you can enjoy the show in peace?" When Naruto had finished this last option, Sakura hit him over the head with a chakra filled hand and scolded him for being so perverted.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head but looked up at Sasuke and waited for an answer. Sasuke thought in silence for about ten seconds and then answered briefly with an "A, of course" and then looked up at Sakura who looked confused but at the same time, relieved.

Naruto wasn't so happy with Sasuke's answer, so he walked up to their captive and poured a drop of the serum onto his tongue. Sasuke threw back his head and let out a cry that sounded like a strangled cat. Sakura and Naruto looked at each other and simultaneously burst out laughing.

"Haha teme, you sound as if something crawled down your throat and died!" Naruto said between gasps for air.

"Sasuke, you **look** as if something crawled down your throat and died!" Said Sakura as Sasuke turned back to look at them. His face was screwed up and his eyes where tight shut, as if he had just seen the most disgusting and horrific thing in the world.

As soon as Sasuke had stopped pursing his lips and rolling his eyes, he swallowed and Naruto asked the very same question again. This time Sasuke's answer took a considerably longer amount of time. He looked thoughtful for a while and then he sort of tossed his head back and forth as if he was trying to prevent some terrible word from exiting his mouth. At last he threw back his head and let out a strangled "C!" Then Sasuke slumped down and began to whimper.

"YES! I knew it! Sasuke-teme does have a perverted side!!! HAHAHA!!" Naruto was doing a little victory dance in the corner while Sakura walked up to Sasuke and…slapped him with a chakra filled hand, this made his nose bleed and his cheek bone fracture but oh well! __

Now it was Sakura's turn to ask a question. She stood in thought for a while with her hands crossed in front of her and her foot tapping slightly on the concrete ground in front of her. "Hmmm, well… oh god, I can't even think of a good question…. Wait a second, Naruto, Weren't we going to actually _torture_ him?" she finally asked looking to Naruto.

"Uh… yeah I guess… but I thought that you might want ask him a couple of y'know, "Questions"." As Naruto said 'Questions' he held up his two index fingers and bent them twice.

" WAIT! I got one, Sasuke what are you out of these three answers…A: Heterosexual, B: Bisexual or C: Homosexual?" Sakura smiled triumphantly and waited for an answer.

Sasuke, who had still got some of the truth serum in him said, "I don't know, at my age most young men like myself are currently questioning their sexuality. I am quite sure, however, that I am heterosexual as I like **BOOBIES**!!" After saying this, Sasuke coughed slightly and pretended he had said nothing, Naruto gawked and keeled over in fits of laughter, Sakura stood shocked for a while and then went over and slapped both Naruto and Sasuke and, last of all, outside Kakashi looked up from his perverted book and gave them one of his infamous eye-creases. It seemed that he had been watching all the time, and as Sakura stormed out of the room in frustration, he went back to reading his amazing and wonderful book, filled with wondrous love and joy! **(cough cough)**

**So, how did you like the second chapter, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it!!**

**Kakashi: YAY you didn't completely leave me out and forget about me!!!**

**Loopy: No problems **_**Kashi**_** but you still have to do a little 'something' for me…**

**Kakashi: Fine……-sigh-LoopyLoo13 does not own any of the Naruto characters, she wishes she does but that's all……can I go now…pleeeeeaaaase? **

**Loopy: Ya okay… BYE –glomps Kakashi-**

**Please Read and Review!!!! It makes me HAPPY!!!**

**P.S. I'm sorry that this isn't as long as the last chapter but I hope to make up for it with a loooonnnnnnggggggg third chapter. 3**

**Read and Review because then I might just be motivated to write a really long chapter and update soon…**


	3. Part 3

**Recap:**

_Sasuke, who had still got some of the truth serum in him said, "I don't know, at my age most young men like myself are currently questioning their sexuality. I am quite sure, however, that I am heterosexual as I like __**BOOBIES**__!!" After saying this, Sasuke coughed slightly and pretended he had said nothing, Naruto gawked and keeled over in fits of laughter, Sakura stood shocked for a while and then went over and slapped both Naruto and Sasuke and, last of all, outside, Kakashi looked up from his perverted book and gave them one of his infamous eye-creases. It seemed that he had been watching all __the time, and as Sakura stormed out of the room in frustration, he went back to reading his amazing and wonderful book, filled with wondrous love and joy! __**(Cough cough)**_

**End Recap.**

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After this, Sakura stormed out of the room and left only Naruto and Sasuke. She had had enough of the two constantly mucking around and now she was going to find some dirt on Sasuke so that she could ask the ultimate question. Maybe at the same time she could show Sasuke how compassionate she could be, when, of course, he started to cry and demanded a hug…and maybe a kiss…and then- No! Now was **Not **the time to be thinking of that!Inside the 'dreaded' room: 

" So, Sasuke," Naruto started, "I have been hearing some very…_suspicious_ rumors that seem to involve you and Ino… GETTING IT OOOOOOONNNNNN!!! So, is this true?"

Sasuke again looked like he was going to spew a chicken but he was probably just dying…**(cough-who cares-cough) **

"ACK! No, I haven't 'gotten it ooooooonnnnnn' with

Ino. Although…aaaccckkk," Sasuke paused here as if he knew what he was going to say next, but, well, he just couldn't bring himself to say it, " I-I…. ILIKEHERASS!!" Sasuke shouted the last bit out so what Naruto heard was: I like er grass…**(wtf?)**

" What was that, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, really confused now.

"I…like…her…ass," Sasuke replied slowly.

Naruto looked at him and said, "Well dude, I am totally with you but have you ever taken the chance to look at some…_Sakura ass?_" Naruto had looked around and whispered the last bit so that Sakura outside didn't hear it.

Sasuke turned to Naruto and replied in a low monotone voice: "Yeah, Sakura's ass is nice but have you ever looked at Temari's ass?"

"Dude, Temari's ass is nothing. HINATA ass is where it's at."

"Duuuuude! I **KNEW **you had a thing for her!!"

Naruto opened his mouth to respond, but didn't get to as Sakura walked back into the room of luuurve.

"Hi Sasuke-kun!" She grinned cheerfully. "How ya feeling?"

Sasuke blinked.

Sakura blinked back.

Naruto scratched his butt.

Sasuke blinked again.

Kakashi fell asleep.

Naruto forgot what the hell they were talking about in the first place.

Sasuke and Sakura were caught in a blinking contest.

Kyuubi ran around in circles, barking. (Erm…)

And somewhere far, far away from the room of luuurve, Loopy and Boom sat at Loopy's computer, staring blankly at the screen.

Anyway, back to the room of luuurve…

Naruto grinned. "Sakura-chan, it's your turn again."

Naruto strolled out of the room, leaving Sasuke and Sakura alone. Sasuke gulped, while Sakura grinned evilly.

"So, Sasuke-kun… I hear you have been hitting on women, correct?"

Sasuke blinked, and spoke the truth; "No."

"Well BURN IN HELL FOR IT!!!" Sakura pulled out a taser, and jabbed it straight into his fleshy pad of a groinal area.

Sasuke let out a scream of anguish. Sakura held it there for a minute or twelve, until she pulled it away and muttered, "Pwned…" under her breath.

Sasuke twitched in the chair for a moment, until Sakura crooned softly, "So, Sasuke-kun, tell me. Are you a virgin…?"

Much to Sakura's horror, Sasuke responded truthfully; "No."

Sakura's face fell blank. Sasuke sweat-dropped.

Kakashi awoke from his slumber with a start to the sound of a teenage girl screaming.

"WHO TOOK MY SASUKE-KUN AWAY FROM ME????!!!!!"

-coughKARINcough-

Sasuke tried to pitifully defend himself by choking out, "It was rape, I swear! It was rape! I asked her to stop, but she said no!!!" Sasuke uncharacteristically burst into tears. Sakura blinked. "She… She tied me to the floor with rope and she had a CHAINSAW!!! A chainsaw, I tell you!! And Suigetsu did NOTHING!!! He just stood and watched, that bastard!!! I dunno where Juugo was, but I'm sure as hell HE wouldn't have done anything either!!"

Sakura blinked again. "Dude, I just asked… I didn't need your life story…"

"WELL I'LL TELL YOU IT ANYWAY!!!" Sasuke screamed. "I HAVE AN EVIL TWIN BROTHER CALLED SASILE!!!"

Sakura blinked. "You have a twin brother?"

She thought for a moment.

"…Is he hot?"

Sasuke frowned. "He was the skin cells scraped off of my ass…"

Sasuke thought to himself for a moment.

"…Of course he was hot."

Sakura said slowly, "…Was? He's… Dead?"

"Nope. He's living as Itachi's bitch." Sasuke grinned. "It's not a good life, trust me. I would know."

Sakura felt a very cold chill settle over her.

Sakura turned on her tail and sprinted out of the room like a bat outta hell, screaming, "KAKASHI-SENSEI!!! IT'S YOUR TURN NOW!!!"

Kakashi sauntered in and looked at Sasuke with one of his famous 'eye creases'.

Sasuke shivered, he had know idea of what was to come…that was what scared him…

"Well now Sasuke-kun, time for your punishment…. Let's start with a little thing I like to call 'My Paperwork'!!!!"

Sasuke screamed loudly, "NOOOOOOOOO, ANYTHING BUT THIS **ANYTHINNNGGGG!!!"**

Kakashi frowned at his student. "Quiet, lackey."

Sasuke gasped. "Yes master."

Kakashi smiled at his new slave…maybe he could do something with this, I mean he _was_ the last person talk to/torture Sasuke-kun.

"…Kakashi-sensei, are you just going to stand there, staring at me manically all day or are you going to let me do the dreaded 'paper work'?" This was Sasuke because Kakashi was kind of scaring him by looking at him with a very weird and maybe deranged expression on his face.

"Oh yes, thank you for reminding me Sasuke-kun. **Onwards!**" Kakashi pointed a finger into the air and flew to the ceiling and his secret stash of paper work.

Sasuke rifled through the paper work and turned to glare at Kakashi. "Sensei, this paper was issued about five years ago and it's a form about taking Naruto/Kyuubi home to be your house-hold pet…. What. The. Hell?!"

"Meh…" Kakashi shrugged and turned away to get out his beloved book: Icha Icha Paradise. He then turned back to Sasuke and held it up, closed.

"Every time you complete one sheet of paper work, I will let you read one page of this. Fair?"

Sasuke's eyes were fixed to the book but he found himself nodding very severely. He tore his eyes away from it and looked down at the first sheet of Paper. It read:

_Name_

_Age _

_Village_

_Sex_

_If you could choose one thing in the world to not give up, what would it be?_

_Name your team_

_Which No._

Sasuke filled it out like so:

_Name: Kakashi Hatake_

_Age: If I told you that, I would have to kill you._

_Village: Konoha_

_Sex: Not as much as I would like._

_If you could choose one thing in the world to __**not**__ give up, what would it be?_

…_Reading 'Icha Icha Paradise'._

_Name your team: Uzumaki, Naruto (Kyuubi vessel), Haruno Sakura (Super strength) and Sasuke Uchiha (avenger)._

_Which No.: Team Seven._

"Kakashi-sensei, I'm done." Sasuke said smirking. "Now you have to show your book…one page of it…"

"Yep, here you go…" Kakashi opened the book to the first page and flipped it around to face Sasuke.

Sasuke looked at the book and gasped at what he saw….

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Teehee, Cliffy!!!

By the way I am sooo sorry for:

A: The looonnnngggg wait

B: The short chappy.

C: The cliffhanger

D: Just the general story plot…sorry, I know it's completely random but in the next chappy it will be Kakashi getting tortured…YAY 

Kakashi…NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!1

Sasuke: THANKYOU LORD KAMI-SAMA!!!!!!

Loopy: -chewing on a carrot- _That's all folks._


End file.
